you are far more likely to be devoured than empowered by your sense of romance.

  

Why? - Rubber Traits

I should cut down my caloric intake
I should go to sleep hungry
and wake up with my guts knotted up
and ears open like a burnt down hut

I miss normality and more importantly, I miss myself. I can only think of this as a song telling me not to do things I have often thought about.

  

Craft Spells - After The Moment

As we ran from the night 
You held me when it felt right 
All the lights went straight to your eyes 
It’s you and I who will hold out ‘til the morning light 

Feeling amorous, and lacking that summer romance. I guess I will have to make do with songs like these for the time being.

  

Cat’s Eyes - I’m Not Stupid

I know I’m not the prettiest girl
I’m realistic
I know, I know
I’m not stupid

And I can see she’s better than me
She’s better than me

  

The National - Fashion Coat

In a fashion coat I float down my city
Don’t you think I look pretty anymore?
I’ll do everything to you but I can hardly come
cause I’m so afraid of you falling

I die fast in this city
outside I die slow

Does anyone else walk around aimlessly listening to this? Matt Berninger’s deep tones can do no wrong. Everywhere I am is just another thing without you in it &c.

  

Frank Ocean - Forrest Gump

Forrest green
Forrest blues
I remember you
If this is love, I know it’s true 
It’s for you Forrest 

I’m spending a lot of time alone right now. Not out of choice, more out of circumstance. I’m filling my days with books, magazines and music because I have nothing else, nothing concrete. I took time out to explore where I live today. I always get the sole bus that runs through my town in one direction but never the other. Today I went the other way with this accompanying my journey. It wasn’t pretty. I was reminded why I always turn left instead of right… but I was also reminded to stray out of my comfort zone. The world is so big and I feel trapped. Songs such as these speak to my loneliness and tell me to keep going. Do everything expecting nothing in return.

That includes love. Love, and be open with your love, without any thought of the consequences.

  

Peter, Bjorn & John - Amsterdam

Baby went to Amsterdam
She put a little money into travelling
Now it’s so slow, so slow
Baby went to Amsterdam
Four, five days for the big canal
Now it’s so slow, so slow

I’m off to Amsterdam for a few days with 6 of my good friends! I don’t get to go away often and I’ve been suffering intense pangs of wanderlust, so a change of environment will do me the world of good. I’ll hopefully come back with a clearer mind and lots of new ideas. 
I have a travel journal, my kanken and will be armed with 2/3 cameras. I’m only away until Sunday, but that should be enough time to soak up all the culture, beautiful buildings and wonderfully tall people.  Until then, tot ziens!

  

Antony & The Johnsons - Fistful of Love

I feel your fists
And I know it’s out of love
And I feel the whip
And I know it’s out of love

This song haunts me. But it’s beautiful, and beautiful songs can do that to the best of us.

  

Ryan Adams - La Cienega Just Smiled

And I hold you close in the back of my mind
Feels so good but damn it makes me hurt
And I’m too scared to know how I feel about you now
La Cienega just smiled and says, “see ya around”

And well, this is such a treat… I don’t feel like I should ramble on as to why I’ve chosen this today. It just reminds me of lost loves and times where I should have said something and didn’t. That’s where the story ends. The particular person I think about when I hear this now lives an ocean away and when he left, I realise I shouldn’t have been silent. Act on feelings, it’s silly not to.

  

Spiritualized - Soul On Fire

Sweetheart, may not be easy
But we’re trying hard to hold on
Trying to make it better
Sweetheart, got so much freedom
But freedom is just another word
When you’ve no-one left to hurt.

There are days you experience every once in a while that are just so bleak, you start to mull over every wrong-doing. And then you hear just one song, or one part of a song, and you realise there are brighter moments. Not every day will be filled with intense longing. Not every day will be spent looking for something to fill the void.